Have a Friend With Diabetes? Be Gentle When It Comes to Food

I write this on the eve of American Thanksgiving, my 12th since being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday. It was all about family and food (oh, and football). However, I don’t look forward to it like I used to.

There’s an overwhelming feeling of being left out. I watch while others eat whatever they want without a care.

I want to emphasize that this is not anyone’s fault. No one sits there and taunts me about my condition or intentionally makes me feel uncomfortable. In fact, the only one stopping me from eating like the old days is me.

I’ve seen the damage diabetes has done to others. I also know the frustration of eating like those around me and watching my blood sugar skyrocket, only to work out like crazy to get it back down. So, I decided to avoid certain foods. I don’t want the awful numbers or the guilt. That’s on me.

The timing of the big holiday meal also causes stress. It seems like family always eats at a time that’s incompatible with my insulin dosing. That makes eating at, say, the early afternoon, a big problem.

I wouldn’t expect or want anyone to rearrange their schedule – that’s not the point. The wish is to be like everyone else and blend into the crowd. That’s not going to happen.

I’m betting that I’m not the only person with diabetes or a restrictive diet feeling this way during the holidays. With that in mind, here are a few words of advice for helping your loved ones cope:

• Don’t push food on them: The act of saying, “You have to try this!” or “Have another serving,” comes from a place of love. My grandmother used to shovel food onto my plate. But it also creates peer pressure for someone with diabetes.
• Talking about anything other than food: Seriously, food is already making us frustrated and/or uncomfortable. Heck, I’d settle for religion or politics over how great the pumpkin pie supposedly is.
• Respect their food choices: Some people with diabetes may well be the opposite of me. They may try to eat everything on the table. Let them be themselves. The same principle applies to those of us who eat a tiny portion or nothing at all. We’re not here to hurt anyone’s feelings or be judged.
• Be a friend, like always: We don’t need special treatment, nor do we want our condition pointed out in front of everyone. Be yourself and treat us like anyone else.

I realize that it can be difficult to know what to say or how to act around someone with limitations (self-imposed or otherwise). I’ve felt the same way.

My goal here is to help others understand the experience. Most of us don’t think about what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. A little understanding can go a long way.

With that being said, bon appetit!