I’ve spent countless hours thinking about the world and my place in it. That can be both a good and bad thing.
Seeking an understanding is part of the human experience. I think Maya Angelou summed it up best:
I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.
Maya Angelou
The point of learning about life is to do better. Perhaps I said a few stupid things when I was younger. OK, I said many such things – but I’ve grown a little wiser and have seen the error in my ways. Now, I don’t say those things.
I’ve also tried to understand people who aren’t like me. Whether they don’t look like me, are from a different place, or even vote differently. Why?
Even as a straight white kid, I often felt like the “different” one in school. I wasn’t religious (I’m still not) and had a liberal point of view in a heavily conservative area. It was a privilege to be oblivious to how good I had it compared to others. Still, I never felt like I fit in.
I wanted to feel accepted. And maybe that’s why I try to understand others. I want to do better than the small-minded people I knew back then. Heck, I want to be the opposite of them.
So, what’s the downside? It’s watching a world that struggles with acceptance. The frustration of witnessing the backlash to progress. Just when I think humans are evolved enough to follow Ms. Angelou’s lead…we fall flat. Some of us, anyway.
Why Are We Going Backwards?
Logically speaking, we put one foot in front of the other, going from Step A to Step B. Once a goal is accomplished, we move to the next one in line.
This makes sense to me, but it isn’t how societies work. The difficult lesson is that every step forward is met with resistance. Sometimes that means going back to the way things were.
Progress doesn’t travel a straight line, but instead zigs and zags in fits and starts.
Barack Obama
I feel like we’re in a time of regression, where truth and human rights are in danger (no kidding). So many angry people are latching onto conspiracy theories. The dark corners of the internet have become mainstream.
I can come up with plenty of possible reasons for this behavior. None of this means that I fully understand it, though. As in, why would anyone choose to dehumanize others and tear down what we’ve built? What’s in it for them?
The result is a feeling of helplessness. That no amount of understanding on my part will change a world that’s going the opposite direction. That’s just the reality of where we are.
I think it’s important to remember that we humans can be quite irrational. We’re all that way at one time or another. We refuse to listen to others or consider their feelings.
Sometimes, people band together and do irrational things at scale. I guess that’s what disappoints me most about this moment in history.
Understanding Is an Opportunity for Personal Growth
Perhaps understanding others can only get us so far. Knowing who people are doesn’t mean you can or should change them. It’s not a worthless pursuit. But it’s not a cure-all for our problems, either.
As the old saying goes, change begins at home. Maybe I can’t change the world. But I can help my child learn right from wrong. I can treat others with respect. I can live by the motto of we’re all just people, trying to live our lives.
In that way, I can help improve the community around me. Creating more good than bad might influence someone else to do the same. Not as a product of my harping on it, but through leading by example – no matter how small.
I used to think educating myself on issues would help me convince others. However, I’m not sure how to do that in a world of constant conflict. Is anyone capable of doing it?
Besides, telling people what to think is a big turn-off. Perhaps they’ll only come around if they see something that spurs a change of heart. As Gandhi said:
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi
In the end, that’s all we can control.